Phil Jackson: HA!

Feb 21, 2013; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Phil Jackson speaks at the memorial service for Dr. Jerry Buss held at the Nokia Theater. Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

According to Stephen A. Smith (sigh…) Steve Mills talked to Phil Jackson a couple of weeks ago. Ho-hum.

Are the New York Knicks really trying to entrap fans once again about possibly (or never) having Phil Jackson coach the Knicks? I used to keep a “Phil Jackson coaching the Knicks” rumor counter, because the majority of Knick fans still can’t stop fetishizing about the Zen Master coaching the team. Stephen A. Smith really couldn’t really help himself from climaxing.

It looks like the stairway to Jackson coaching the Knicks isn’t blocked off as much as it was before, considering that a major outlet (again, Stephen A. Smith…eh…) reported the ubiquitous Knicks land rumor. Obviously, I want this unrealistic fantasy happen. Who doesn’t? When I was in middle school, I had a friend come up to me saying that LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh would be on the same exact team. I didn’t believe him. Looking back at that, I think I was wrong after four years.

But free agency is a completely different story. Head coaching rumors are pretty different. Phil Jackson in his own mind would feel very insulted. He’s probably been thinking “isn’t this a slap in the face?” Why would Jackson have any interest whatsoever in the gig? And people ask why this won’t happen. Please…

Mike Woodson’s incompetence, which consists of mismanaging lineups, compiling tons of hilarious post-game comments trying to shield up his most recent problems, et al. this season is a prime example of why Jackson wouldn’t want to move out of his Shady Oaks retirement home to take over the helm. To quote fans and, notably, Carmelo Anthony in a press conference earlier this season before facing the Nets for the first time this season,

"We are the laughingstock of the league right now… That’s why it is a big game for us. Do I like being laughed at? Hell, no. I don’t like that feeling."

The quote of the season right there.

The funny thing is: The quote still translates to the Knicks lackluster play deep into the gallows of the 2013-14 season. With 19 games to play, their record is at a lowly 24-40. Hey, at least they’re better than the Lakers, right (a millimeter long hair better, to be exact)? There’s something to be happy about (at the most minimal level possible).

Of course, Knick fans would welcome the Zen Master with open arms. However, Jackson has already indicated that coaching isn’t really his gig anymore; he’s into being a front office executive. Frank Isola of the Daily News also reported that the Knicks offered such a front office job to Jackson. *Record scratch* *sitcom laugh track goes off*

There are so many things wrong with this. Firstly, anything trumps logic when it comes to the Knicks. Jackson, as legendary as he is, has no front office experience whatsoever; it’s because of his name. This is a classic Dolan “I have total control and you’re a piece of crap” luring tactic. Seriously, what the hell is Jackson going to do? Work below Steve Mills as an “adviser,” the same position that was penned to former GM Glen Grunwald? I mean, I guess director of basketball operations is like the highest position after GM. That Jackson actually took his time to speak with the Knicks is pretty mind-boggling. That may be the most the Knicks will get out of him.

For all I know, Jackson has got to be screwing around with the feeble-minded front office and Dolan. There’s absolutely no way he’s going to accept any kind of position, no matter how high it is, from such an incompetent franchise. If he actually does, then he’ll be wasting his time. He’s wasting his time regardless anyways with the talks.